The strangest creative ritual of my life
Intro
So… describe one positive change I’ve made in my life?
Change… or challenge?
Because honestly, at this point, everything feels like both.
But fine — here we go. I guess this is the change:
For the next month, I’m writing a daily stream of consciousness.
A tiny ritual of presence.
A morning brain‑stretch.
A caffeinated wandering through whatever birds, dreams, or existential nonsense show up before breakfast.
Day 10 already.
Twenty more to go.
Haha.
Other changes
And yes, I’ve made other changes.
Plenty.
Some dramatic, some ridiculous, some involving cinnamon sticks in ways no one expects.
Quitting smoking — that’s the big one.
The crown jewel.
The “I can’t believe I survived that” moment.
How did I do it?
Well…
I quit my business after Easter 2015, locked myself in my apartment like a monk with questionable habits, and surrounded myself with fruit, wine, coffee, tea, water, oranges, orange juice, spices — real ones — cinnamon sticks, vanilla batons, nutmeg, and just enough food to stay alive.
Whenever I felt like smoking, I sipped orange juice.
Instant relief.
Magic.
Alchemy.
Oranges became my emotional support fruit.
I replaced cigarettes with cinnamon sticks.
Yes, really.
I still nibble on them.
Ten years later.
My dentist probably thinks I’m a witch.
And I focused on a new project — short story writing.
Wrote entire collections.
People say the stories are full of smoke.
Of course they are.
I smoked like a dragon in those pages.
Cigs everywhere.
Messy.
Crazy.
Erotic.
Therapeutic.
Efficient.
Sure, I had cravings.
But orange juice saved me every time.
Wine helped too.
Nutmeg with milk made me dizzy — wow — but in a good “I’m alive” way.
And that’s it.
One of my positive changes.
Eleven years and counting.
Outro
If you want to actually read the stories I wrote while quitting smoking… just look for them on Amazon. They come in different sizes, formats, and languages. Grab one. Read. Smoke. Make love. Enjoy. Thank you.
Julia Kalman 
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