And Why You Should Try Them Too
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Dear Wonderful Writers and Friends,
I appreciate your support throughout the past year. 🌿 Autumn is a great time for me, as I celebrate one year in the Partner Program and almost 15 years with my amazing husband! It’s been a wild ride. In September, I was busy on Medium, translating, editing, and writing stories for the New Literary Society, all while addressing real-life renovations, tidying, and packing. I damaged my hand in the process, making writing this extremely tough. Fortunately, Storm Ashley was quite mild in our neighborhood, but I was unable to complete this piece on time and post it last week.
Oh, and please read until the end! I’ve included a photo gallery containing work-related images, including some… where I may have even posed! 😉
And please, let me know if you’d prefer not to be tagged in future articles — I’ll completely understand.
Sending you all warm hugs and best wishes!
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1. Write While Tipsy — Genius or Disaster?
Cheers! I’m sipping grape must right now and channeling my inner Hemingway. Although, I would like to say, as my lecturers used to put it, “A lunatic or an alcoholic writes nonsense and it is not literature; it is trash.” So, here’s hoping for the best.
2. Post Articles That I Know Will Bomb — Just for Fun!
Yes, I did it this month! I’m counting on this (current) article to bring in some money, so please read till the end to fund my caffeine addiction. Author interviews have been going well but what happens to me when I have been working all day on translating an 11-page document such a treasure into Romanian and end up with only a few reads? Ouch! Next stop: maybe versions in German?
3. Pretend I’m a Life Coach for a Day!
Oh bhai, some girl last year discovered the star called ChatGPT and wrote prompts for tackling challenging personalities like narcissists and paranoid friends. The piece was read by several hundred people, and I was feeling like a superhero!
4. Start an Article, Get Distracted, Never Finish.
Oh, I have an abundance of those! My laptop is an unwieldy tomb for many a hasty sketch and some very good prose that has been shelved. My manuscript becomes a stupor for numerous items and probably the best items as well, which I should be doing instead of dawdling.
5. Compare Myself to Fictional Characters Who Are Clearly Cooler Than Me.
There are parts of me that are a wonderful amalgamation of both Alice in Wonderland and Daisy Duck with an addition of other elements of curiosity, chaos, and a sense of humor directed at self. Well, now you know a bit more about me.
6. Turn My Pet’s Thoughts Into Philosophical Insights.
My bunny basically serves as my life coach. Other things he’s taught me are how to eat grass, how to do some kind of exercise by jumping around, and how to get regular sleep. Rabbitism includes proper nutrition, exercise, and the giving of affection all the time. To be frank, it beats all the other wellness programs I have ever done. 😊
7. Write Poems That No One Asked For.
My masterpiece is an awful October 2023 special that features an attractive blonde woman and a grumpy old man. This was horrible. One of the reviewers deemed it offensive. But come on, at least it provoked some reaction, didn’t it?
8. Falling in Love with Another Writer
Well, that was a plot twist I didn’t see coming! I fell head over heels for a journalist whose words flowed like fine wine — smooth, rich, and occasionally with a kick. But…
9. Overshare My Existential Crisis
Imagine this, sometime in November or December 2023, our heating system goes on an unexpectedly long vacation. Who would have thought that it could be such a diva? As temperatures fell and my zeal for winter waned, , I turned to laptops to keep warm. I scribbled rapidly on Medium, my mind frozen in a solid block of existential dread. Did I share too much? Maybe. But, well, at least my ideas were hot, right?
10. Turn My Meltdowns into Motivational Stories
Have I gone through this before? Most. After every big public event, I seem to catch some weird mix of sicknesses — like a nasty cold in 2020, and non-stop allergies in 2023. Imagine me surrounded by flowers sneezing like crazy in some kind of sneeze competition, with rashes as a bonus. What a sight! But even with all that, the words kept flowing. Even when my mind felt stuck, my creativity didn’t skip a beat!
11. Forget to Add a Conclusion and Just Stop**
Here we go! A classic: ‘And then what’s the need for a conclusion?’ None! Oh girl, when it comes to making leave, I am a drama queen. And don’t you dare say it’s for the provided conclusion when it is not? Like really last century. Well, it’s like that old man sitting in a remote corner of a new-age café looking worn out and grumpy.
12. Treat My Article Like a Personal Diary Entry
Sure, why not? Initially, I figured it was way too boring, and academic purses and an external gown were compulsory. At long last, I understood you guys want biography and memoirs. This is the reason why I am giving the details in such a way as to make it look more like a warm coffee discussion than a formal lecture.
13. Add Too Many Unnecessary Footnotes
Oh, you bet I did! I slapped on buy-me-a-coffee logos, New Literary Society stickers, and “thank you’s” galore. It was like a carnival of footnotes! Maybe I’ll wait until I’m famous enough for coffee money — until then, I’m happy just to get a few reads!
14. Write While Crying — Catharsis or Mess?
Crying? Rarely, my friend. It’s a precious commodity! Growing up, tears were like gold — rarely shed and often met with a stern “suck it up.” So, when I do cry, it’s cathartic; a beautiful mess of emotions splashed across my keyboard.
15. Write Entire Articles in Stream of Consciousness
Oh, that’s my jam! Free flow of thoughts, like a wild river running through my brain. Sometimes it leads to brilliance, and sometimes it’s just a splashy chaos that makes sense only to me. Buckle up for the ride!
16. Show Myself Vulnerable (Like, Too Vulnerable)
Not quite! Looking back at 2024, it felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster with some serious detachment vibes. Losing people is tough, and while I cried for my literary mentors and my uncle, I emerged with a weird sense of strength. Life’s a series of goodbyes, but hey, the friendships that stick are pure gold.
17. Start a Series and Never Finish It
Oh, I’m the queen of this! It’s like cooking a gourmet meal and forgetting to serve it. I’ve started series on AI trends, suspense, and the joys of food, only to leave them hanging like a cliffhanger. But hey, I’ve got plenty of ideas!
18. Write as if I’m Talking to My Future Self
Call me clueless, but this one baffles me! Am I supposed to give myself a pep talk or ask about the weather in 2030? Who knows! Maybe it’s just a cool way to plan my future blog topics.
19. Turn Every Setback into a “Plot Twist”
Not my style! I prefer to take a breather after a success, like a cat napping in the sun. Every success is just a pause for me to reassess and come back with more creativity. We creators are passionate souls, and when we have time to reflect, that’s when the magic happens!
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Photo Gallery
This photo gallery features sketches by Marcel Aciocoiței, who sadly passed away in 2020. He sent these sketches to me for feedback, and I have his permission to share them. Rest in peace.
20. Turn My Trauma into a Comedy Piece
Nah, that’s not for me. Comedy from trauma? Sounds like a recipe for a sitcom gone wrong! I prefer to keep my trauma as my own private narrative, thank you very much.
21. Write as a Show Off
Okay, maybe a little! Who doesn’t want to showcase their accomplishments? But I keep it light — no need to whip out my “Former Vice President” badge just yet. That’s a little too much glitter for a casual conversation!
22. Vent About Algorithms Like They’re My Exes
Absolutely! I did just that, and it turned into my most popular article. I even had to rework it because the first version didn’t capture the emotional rollercoaster of my relationship with those fickle algorithms. They’re like exes — hard to understand, occasionally delightful, and usually leave you wondering what went wrong!
23. Use Too Many Emojis in a Serious Piece
Oh, yeah! All those squirrels, nuts, hearts in all colors, emeralds, clover leaves… give me funny emojis.
That’s so…
24. Fall Out of Love (with My Best Ideas)
Ah, the honeymoon phase with ideas. AI art was my muse… until it wasn’t. Now? We’re on a break. Maybe I’ll call it back. Maybe not.
25. Make Up Facts to Prove a Point
Me? Make things up? Never. Except that one time, but it was for science… or something close to it.
26. Create Fake Stats to Sound Convincing
No fake stats here! Just real, authentic, unverified, probably-not-even-statistics kind of stats. Should I start using actual ones? Maybe… next year.
27. Forget I’m Not the Main Character
Oops, I forgot. It’s my world, you’re all just living in it. Well, except when I’m deep in editing other people’s work… then I’m just a glorified sidekick.
28. Write Blindly as if I’m Alone on This Platform
I could pretend I write just for me, like some kind of literary self-care session, but let’s be real — I’m here for the applause (or at least a few claps).
29. Write Quantity (Because Who Needs Quality?)
If I write *enough*, something’s bound to stick, right? Turns out slicing up a novel into 30+ chapters doesn’t guarantee engagement — who knew?
30. Use My Articles as Free Therapy Sessions
Who needs a therapist when you have readers? But no, really, I’m counting on your claps for emotional support — it’s not free if there’s payment in claps, right?
31. Change My Writing Voice Mid-Article
My intros are formal, my endings are reflective, and the middle? Well, the middle is wherever the mood takes me. Welcome to my rollercoaster of a thought process.
32. Use Metaphors That Make No Sense
Apparently, I once said, “I’m the captain of this ship, and I’ll drown with it.” Which, if you think about it… is exactly as chaotic as my writing days can be.
33. Write for the Applause (and Hear None)
They say, “validate yourself.” Sure, but a little applause wouldn’t hurt, right? Writing just for “me’ is like a one-person dance party. But c’mon, who doesn’t want some claps? So, if you like my stuff, clap. Forget the mind games; let’s keep it simple.
34. Write to Make Myself Feel Better
Writing is my therapy, my self-care, my little escape from reality. But sometimes, finishing an article feels like I’ve accomplished so much… I forget I’ve done nothing in real life. Oops.
35. Write an Article to Procrastinate Writing Another Article
Yup. Wrote 20 articles to dodge writing the *one* that actually matters. But hey, at least I’m now the proud owner of a summer Swim Club Membership.
36. Write Like I’m Running Out of Time — Because I Am
I am. I’m not. (Who knows?)
37. Write for the Future
I like sprinkling random future dates into my writing, just to see where it leads. Try it! Add a year, a month — who knows, it might even tell you your destiny… or just give you a fun story.
38. Write for the Past
Got drama with someone? Rewrite the story with a happy ending. Maybe after you’ll feel brave enough to actually call them. Or not. But at least you’ve rewritten the mess.
39. Get High on Deadlines (And Crash Afterwards)
Deadlines are my caffeine. I ride the rush… then crash like a toddler after too much sugar. Every. Single. Time.
40. Overpromise My Future Self (And Leave Her to Deal with It)
Future me will totally be a superhuman. Present me? Just over here pretending Netflix is “research.” You’re welcome, future me!
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Photo Gallery
This photo gallery showcases the artworks of Vali Irina Ciobanu, and the late fine artist Smaranda Milu Nemethi, exhibited during the book launch of Antimemoirs of a Muse by Julia Kalman, at the Carturesti Verona Library in Bucharest in 2016. The event was attended by the artists, writers, editors, and Julia Kalman.
Dear Cherished Writers, Please, clap, engage, and stay tuned for the next story! Most importantly, a profound thank you to each one of you. Your unwavering support has been invaluable. And… if you’d prefer not to be tagged in our future posts, just let us know.
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Valy Oltean , Andre Begin , Linda Rittenhouse , Mukundarajan V N , Advocate, Author, Jason Sandifer , Professor António Francisco , Edward Lit 570 , Desert Queen KG , Paul – Entrepreneurial Voyager/Founder-4 startups , Alejandro Werther , Johnnie Calloway , Anique van der Putten, MPsych, BBA , 2474future , Damion Davis , Authors Retreat , Jeff Murrah, LPC, LCDC, CMNCS , Frankie Hau , The Jolly Quill , 🎶🎼🌻ʇんԑ𝘔⊙𝑛ᵏ🌻🎼🎶 , Ken Howe , Orlando Living , Michael Rhodes , Glen Jensen www.RealWildGinseng.com , Peter W. Collier , Darrin Atkins , Andrew Gaertner , Athena , Your True Direction , Mino Akhtar , M. Cole Grady , Bill Mathews , David Sheehan , William P. Gerace , Martijn Vos , 🄿ixel 🄵loyd , Mardee Jessop , GoWriteStuff , Mia Z. Edwards , Filza Chaudhry , Tyler Bridges , Andrew Rupert Crocker , Liz H ,
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RhaeOfEnlightenment , Amy Ocean , Danielle , Sanjam Singh , ✨Beyond Stardust✨ , Burton Voorhees , Marie Krnakova , HAROLD BIGGS , Dr John Frederick Rose , Angela W. , Tereza Kleovoulou , Joshua , Steven L , Farida Haque , Imkingcash , Sue Banerji , Lily Lum , Shannon D. Smith , The Roots , Elaine Haw , Anita Osasona , Jf , Aslynn Roe 🐈 , Sceriff , Stephan Pinkwart , Alan Yarborough , D J Burns , Marc Smith , Angela Treat Lyon , Ilana Estelle Author , JT. Alexander -FMT , Michael De Shannon , Danielle Herring , Lamcer31210 , Aline S. , Shivangi Singh Parihar , S A Holmes , HC Leung , Long After the Thrill of Living is Gone , Paul A Domenick , Elaine Hilides , Ronwriter , T. Mark Mangum , J. M. Paden , sea-at-sunrise , Derek Morgan , 💛 Jane Grismer , MCristina Content by Maria Cristina DeBriyn , Samiksha Shrivastava , Jordan Lubov , Ann Marie Steele
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Photo Gallery
This photo gallery showcases the artworks of Dan Botezan, Vali Irina Ciobanu, and the late fine artist Smaranda Milu Nemethi, exhibited during the book launch of Antimemoirs of a Muse at the Carturesti Verona Library in Bucharest in 2016. The event was attended by the artists, writers, editors, and Julia Kalman. Photo credits by: Ada Pelin, Luna Popescu.
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Christine Denker , DJ Hopkins , Sammy Naicker , G.P. Gottlieb , Fiona B Lara , J.M. Troppello , Bruno T. , Ulf Wolf , Ms. Mary Ann , Kris Garza , Kit Tara , simplest , Maximilian Schneider, Cyn BehindMind , Lori Stratton , Wisewords Wyndie , Ai WanderingNut News and Blog , Sam & Kate , Laney Mills , Constance Williams , Runa Heilung 🌻 , J.D. Harms , Mark Boyle , niguanta , Jane Trombley , Ray Payette , Ivannan Pandian , Bob Cristello , Sara Flower , Lukman Aufbau , Michelle Hoffmann , Anne Bellamy , Victoria Marty , Annelise Lords , JA Martin , Jason Elias , Rocco Pendola , Anurag Parihar , DIY Affiliate Soul Journey , Dr James Smith , Debra G. Harman, MEd. , Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬 , Olive Wilson , Vanessa Gallman , Vivian Robert, Ph.D. , Remiforce Mils , Wafa oukka , NRWillick , titis.app, Amy Christie ,
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Frank Racioppi , Steve Middle , Mustapha Yossef , Larry Nowicki , Franco Amati , Claros Farm , Lisa Duffy-Korpics , Elwood Watson, Ph.D. , Frank Parker , H.M.B. , Dee Wilson , Lauri Novak , Anirudh M , Spiritwhisper , Lela Cargill , Jason Vincent , Sharon Charlotte , Reiner Knapp , JF Danskin , David Loewen , Gus Gresham , Brenda Hukel, MBA , Michael R McNeely , KennethMyThoo // , John Loewen, PhD , Andy B. Hahn , An Old MadDog , MindLake.co.uk (Alex) , Niz , Peter Sassi , Erik S. Meyers , Deb Fiore, LICSW , Mandy Franklin , Freia Skogstad , Lee Drozak , Anna Soldenhoff , Skye Knight , Michael Koetsier , Ayeshashfaq , Zahier Adams , Thief , Zatanna Dark , Conor Kelly , Violet Moon , Lee Byrd , Jim Parton , Elizabeth Emerald , Vinanti Sarkar … VoicesofWomenWorldwide , Dawn Ulmer , Divina Grey
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Photo Gallery
This photo gallery showcases the artworks of Lucia Juncu, Vali Irina Ciobanu, and Dan Botezan. Photo credits by: Vali Irina Ciobanu, Anca Hirschpek, 2016, 2022.
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To My Cherished Writers, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your unwavering support. It means the world. Please clap, engage, and stay tuned for the next story! If you haven’t already, I’d be thrilled if you followed our publication and considered submitting your own work. And if you’d prefer not to be tagged in future articles, no worries — just let me know.
So, here’s to making mistakes — the delightful, chaotic, and surprising ones — because without them, wouldn’t the ride be boring? Now get out there, create your own mistakes, and keep this in mind: each goof-up is just another tale ready to be shared!
Warm hugs and best wishes to each of you. Thank you again for being such an invaluable part of this community!
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Julia Kalman 